Thursday, March 8, 2007

it started out well...

I woke up with Artur at my side to the horrible beeping of the alarm that I normally fight with every morning, hitting it every three minutes to silence the beeping that resumes again in three minutes, making it the most horrible alarm clock ever made, with the shortest snooze ever. Sometimes I even take the time to reset the alarm for seven minutes later, just to get a reasonable snooze, before flopping back into unconsciousness.

But this morning Artur got to fight with the alarm, and although I am not particularly reknowned for bounding out of bed and greeting the day with cheer, it's an art i have slowly mastered after dozens of grumpy winter mornings waking up at 5:45, knowing if i don't, 3-6 year olds will be standing along in the cold waiting for me to unlock the kindergarten door. Artur is a master of not getting up, and since the only smiling faces waiting for him at work are computer monitors and adult coworkers, he isnt quite as motivated as me, so i actually have to wake him up after 45 minutes of snoozing, because im wide awake and i have to go to my ultrasound in an hour.

Thats right folks, an ultrasound. I thought they were only for pregnant women, but appartently they are also used for people with strange stomach pains. Which are sometimes one and the same, but in my case im hoping to hear something like "ah, your left quadral intestinal apartment is a little swollen" instead of "it's a girl!" So I shower and leave the house after a ruffled Artur runs out the door, and catch the subway to my doctors office.

I really liked the waiting room from the first moment I found this doctors office, in the way I find all my favorite places in Munich: desperation. I really needed to see a doctor, and this was the first sign I saw that said "general practice" so I walked in and tada, I am now the proud patient of drS teubner... a mother and daughter pair of doctors who are apparently fond of elephants or at least their family, friends, and the entire country of germany thinks they are, as the waiting room is littered with china elephants, wooden elephants, stuffed elephants, elephant paintings, elephant postcards, and all manner of quotes about elephants.

I am called into what appears to be the nurses room and the bubbly nurse (i didnt know there were bubbly GERMAN nurses!) noticed immediatly that getting a blood sample taken made me very nervous. So she asked me exactly eleven questions in a row whereareyoufromyoudonthaveagermanaccentahtheUSAwhereahpittsburghiveheardofititsonthewestcoastisntitahokeastcoastwellokbutnowimdone I have to say, it wasnt so bad, i was pretty distracted by her round of questions. After a short round of elephant counting i was recalled and sent into the doctors office, told to lie on a table, and grinned as i was smeared with ultrasound gel, the real stuff you see in the movies!

I was disappointed that the grey blobs on the screen didnt resemble my stomach like i had expected, but then again i dont think they really resemble babies either, when babies are inside. The doctor told me i have air in my intestines (and asked me if i had ever had my appendix removed. and i swore i would NEVER have to know that word when we had to learn it for a german quiz) and a virus, gave me various prescriptions and instructions to eat only noodles, and told me not to go to work for the rest of the week and to come in the following morning for my blood test results.

It was a nice day so i took a tram to the main train station and picked up my arcade fire concert tickets, and bought my books for my polish course. On the way I rented two movies, bought noodles, and planned a nice relaxing afternoon for myself.

After watching the movie and eating noodles though, i was bored and felt guilty. I didnt feel sick, my stomach didnt hurt anymore and I wasnt tired enough to sleep all day on the couch. Two days off and nothing to do. Not sick enough to while the day away sick in bed, not well enough to go to work, just well enough to feel guilty about not going to work. All those tiny faces waiting for emily to appear, my poor assistant teacher running the group all by herself. And what fun is a day in bed without junk food? I couldnt even pig out on haribo gummi bears or drink a bottle of wine and watch a romantic comedy.

The boredom set in once I read my book in silence for two hours. It was sunny outside, maybe I should go for a bikeride? But then again, i was staying home from work because im sick. I should rest. And the rest of the day went like this. I tried to convince myself of my sickness, of my rightness to stay home from work, while at the same time trying to enjoy my free time, although not too much, because after all, sick people at home from work shouldnt enjoy themselves. And then I got the brilliant idea to paint my fingernails. Finally, something i never have time for but that sick people can do too, without using up too much energy. I am sick, after all. So I painted my fingernails a beautiful maroon color, which ate up almost fifteen beautiful minutes, and as I finished them and admired their shiny, stick, beauty, i realized... that I now couldnt do anything, not even check my email or turn on the tv. I tried to blow my nose, which took an additional five minutes struggling not to smudge.

And then, Artur called. I had actually been waiting for him to call for almost an hour, because he is almost always done with work by 6:15, and it was already 7:30. My boredom was already driving me to contrive tiny plots to kill time until his arrival, and when he informed me he would be working for at least another half an hour, I wailed nooooooo into the phone, some sort of instinctual boredom reaction. Why do the people we love always see our worst sides? He promised to only be a half an hour, and I vowed, out of guilt, to finally do something with my time, and started to write this blog post. Suddenly, the time flew, and my newly laquered fingers tapped over the keys with grace... writing about my boring day is entertaining! And then he called again... I had almost forgotten about him! He was finally on his way! I asked, somewhat distracted as I formulated the next paragraph...if he had already left work. Because if he needed to work longer it was ok, I was entertained for the mean time... and found out he had left all his work colleagues slaving away on a project with a deadline, he, the newby, because i had made him feel guilty. arghhhhhhhhh could it get more tragic?

The evening will hopefully include another movie and more noodles. Tomorrow im crossing my fingers that the doctors will give me the green light to eat at least cheese, my french friend is having a dinner party.... the way things are going, I doubt it. Now, off to boil water....

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