Turmoil and Decisions

This is Charlie sleeping in a ridiculous position. CUTE no?

I can't stay away from blogging. I feel like I need to blog again and I have been bloghopping for so long that I felt good coming back here and starting to write again! Lots has happened! A short summary:

• Got a new job as a social media manager
• worked like crazy, tried to fit job between baby and husband and life with only 12 hours of childcare a week
• weeped many tears, because job was failing miserably
• lost job, felt instantly better
• and here I am

So that's it. I worked, and now I am not working - thanks to the goodness that is the German welfare state I will be receiving at least another 3 months of parent support and then... well that is the question, now isn't it. 

What next?!

I have learned a lot. I have learned that when you have a baby, going back to work is not uncomplicated. It is NOT the same as before. Priorities change. 

I have learned that I love the job of Social Media Management, but I did not like the company I was working for. And that is ok. And also? Trying to work 40 hours a week with only 12 hours of childcare? Not a good idea! (duh). 

We went to the US a couple of weeks ago, and stayed with my parents. And for the very first time in my seven years abroad, I experienced aching homesickness when we came back. I moped around for days after we arrived. I was not happy to be back. This had never happened to me before! What to do?! So we talked about IT. The big it. Moving. And now it is a possible reality. Crazy? Maybe. Walking away from all these benefits and this good life and the delicious beer? NUTS? But another adventure? A US citizenship for Artur? Living near my parents? Shopping on Sunday and Target and Steelers games and little league for Charlie and and and... Yeah, I think we are ready for something like that. 

So there it is. Our life right now. An amazing little boy, a lot of turmoil, varying degrees of sleep, and lots of decisions coming our way. I'll keep you posted right here!

Have you ever moved your family to another country?!?!

How Life Is

What's going on around here?

Well, Our Charlie is almost 6 months old, it's summer, we have started solids and lots more. Here's a summary and I bit (ha!) about Charlie's schedule (if it can be called that).

I have been meeting up with the women from my birth prep course. Multiple babies of the same age on a blanket? PRICELESS!

Charlie is super fun. We crack up with him every day. Also, he is eating solids - both purees and finger food at the table with us - and making a giant mess. Hilarious.

What else is new? Well, I love our "routine" if it can even be called that. It consists of waking up between 4-6am to feed Charlie, then waking again at 8 to feed again and hoping (and praying) that he goes back to sleep. Which he usually doesn't, so we put him in bed between us and take turns hitting the "snooze button" i.e. sticking in the pacifier, waving a blanket, giving him a toy until one of us can't take the screeching and gets up. This is usually by 9:30. Then I/Artur go shower, switching off with Charlie, and then I try to get the house back in order (we do not clean up in the evenings. Evenings are for hanging out) while Charlie plays (or screeches...). Charlie goes down for a nap around 10:30 so I finish the cleaning and do daily chores while he sleeps, and when he wakes up we head out for errands (also to give Artur a break from all the screeching.)  When we come back it is usually lunchtime so I prep Charlie's food and feed him and then Artur stops working for lunch so he takes Charlie while I prep our lunch. We eat together at the table with Charlie, who gets finger food bits of what we are eating.

After lunch I clean up the (disaster!) mess from lunch and putz around, playing with Charlie and nursing him depending on needs. He goes down for another nap around 1-2 so we do that, and then I take advantage of the nap to either get to-dos done (computer/job application stuff or housework) or I nap with him (my FAVORITE!) He wakes up around 2-3 (if I nap with him, he sleeps longer) and we head out for our daily activity - sometimes we meet friends at the park or we go shopping or for a long walk - depends on our mood!

When we get back (around 5-6 pm) we prep dinner (if possible) or just play and hang out and try to bug Artur into stopping with his work. He usually stops around 7, Charlie and I usually bide the time with feeding (he gets fruit and grain puree in the afternoon) and playing, but Charlie goes down for his evening nap around 6-7 but it's unpredictable so if we're lucky it coincides with my dinner prep but not always. Sometimes he skips the nap altogether and we just invite him to eat with us at the table and bedtime is early. If not then we eat together (depending) and he goes down around 9pm.

After 9 the two of us either cuddle up on the sofa or disappear into separate virtual worlds on our various devices. It sounds cold but it's really lovely and kind of romantic. And super relaxing. Wine or beer is always in the mix, since the next nursing isn't until at least 4am. Ah.

Back in the Saddle

....again?!

Yup. So this thing happened. I had a baby. Then I took full advantage of the amazing German maternity leave laws. Oh, and also the further laws that allow me to stay at home for a year (or 14 months.. that's another post...) with my baby. Actually, I am still taking full advantage of those laws. BUT. I am looking for a new job. So tonight, I got out there!

My baby is almost six months old so I dusted off my old button downs (they fit now!) and did some ironing, after which I left my husband with the baby (and a few bottles) and headed to a little old network meeting.

This was something I was so happy to have done. It was one of those things, kind of like a keystone habit, that just sets off a chain reaction. Maybe I didn't meet anyone crucial to my new career tonight, but who cares?! I got inspiration! I remembered how to chat in a business setting! I spend an evening away from my son. All baby steps, but in the right direction!

So now you can find me giving myself a bit fat wine on the couch pat on the back. Because that's how we roll around here.

Stroller Envy

So I have to admit something. I have a bit of a stroller complex. When I see another mom or dad with a baby in a stroller, I look first at their stroller, then at their baby, then at them. It's horrible! I saw my friend Nicole the other day with her baby, but it took me a full minute to see her because I went through the stroller - baby - person list!

our stroller

our second stroller :D

When we bought our stroller, we had no idea what we would need. Honestly, the process overwhelmed me. There were so many other things to think about - which hospital, what stuff to buy, how to set up the nursery etc etc that the stroller decision just totally completely overwhelmed me. I was one of those (naive! I know!) people who always thought - well jeez these people with these tricked out strollers - so annoying! I don't want to be one of those people. I want something slim and sleek, and the rest of the time I will just carry my baby. You know, like on my back or something. They're small.

Riiiight. Fast forward to now. I totally get it. Strollers are amazing. And having a good one? A godsend. I love walking around with Charlie. It makes me feel free and fit and I totally enjoy it. And now, knowing what I know- I would buy a different stroller. (kinda like everything in life, right? you live, you learn and then you realize you now know how to do it perfectly, only it's over. I would totally kick high school's butt now. btw).

We have the Baby Jogger City Mini. It's THE stroller in the US. I was all smug about being different and all American and wow it fold with one hand. And really, it's a very nice stroller. We like it very much. Except for one thing. Once Charlie outgrows the bassinet (which really he has already as he has to rest his FEET on the outside but I am in "my baby is totally still a tiny baby" denial and refuse to remove it) he will face away from us. Totally normal, right? But it turns out, there are a whole ton of stroller producers who make strollers that face TOWARDS mama. Yeah. missed that boat. And now - STROLLER ENVY.

You see I think that in most of the USA, people drive. They drive their baby, take them out, and snap them onto the stroller in the carseat or put them on the shopping cart. But here? We walk around with Charlie all day!!! I go to the park, to the grocery store, walk around the city, meet friends in the Biergarten - and we don't have a car. So that stroller is the only mode of transport we have. And gosh darnit, I want to look at my baby while shuffling around the city. 

Which leads to - I bought a second stroller. A Quinny Buzz. It's used and we got a great price. But cmon. We have two strollers? Artur jokes that it's like having a second car. Totally ridiculous. It's embarassing, but it gives me piece of mind, knowing that I can look and my baby, talk to him and babble away, on our long strolls.

I hate realizing after the fact that I have made a mistake. I am just that proud. But for now, we are ok with our two strollers. The funny part is, I am starting to get really into baby wearing. We have mastered a number of back carries and who knows, maybe we will even be stroller free in a couple of months? For now, I'll take my double stroller situation and continue to stare at other strollers of babies with families. In that order.

5 months

Charlie turned 5 months last Saturday. I can't believe it! He's so much fun now. Laughing and interacting, just such a ball of personality. He has mixed feelings about solid food - he usually likes it, but lately he has been making gaggy noises when we eat some things. We went to the pool today, he loved it, chasing his duck in the water.

My parents are leaving in two weeks. I can't believe that either. I'm sad, a little scared, but I also feel like life has been a little bit "paused" since Charlie was born and my parents have been here. In a good way of course but I think it's time to look forward. To a new job, to more adventures, to USA trips and possible MOVES (in a few years, but maybe to the US?!)

Here's a photo of happy batman Charlie. Just because.

My Weekend

This weekend, we went to Berlin to visit my very best friend in Germany, Nicole! We had the best time - the weather turned out to be unexpectedly awesome, and we were able to walk all over the city visit way too many cute shops, go on a fantastic boat tour, and even watch the Germany vs. Portugal EM game while my parents babysat Charlie at the hotel (they won, although Germany didn't play well). And the train ride to and from Berlin with Charlie was a breeze - he is such a trooper!

Here's Nicole with Charlie (who is getting fed carrots, hence the orange face):

Here are some awesome moments:

Charlie's relaxed train ride, a yarn bombed bike, and Charlie with the Berlin Wall

Fantastic Boat tour complete with ice cream and (ouch) sunburn for me

The striking sites

A convertible ride for my parents with DriveNow, Nicole's boyfriend's car sharing company, and cuddles for Charlie

My newest project

So I have been gone for a while, but I have been working on a fun project. Over at Wayfarer's Handbook, we are developing a slew of Mini Missions for expats who are living abroad and want to build their confidence and get out there and experience life in their new home.

Here are a few of my favorite mini missions so far:

Mission # 1: Buy some Bread

Mission # 4: Say No to English

Mission # 5: Become a Regular 

Mission # 9 - Spend an Entire Day Out of the House

Mission # 12 - Buy Something Big

So head on over and check out my newest missions! I'd love your feedback.

On Having a Baby in Germany

Me in the hospital with Charlie, with no idea what I was doing, silently
cursing the difficult to change German baby hospital outfits

Hello! I know, I know. I disappear after getting married, and then I reappear, and I have a BABY? How cliché of me. But you know, it's us Ausländer who are keeping that birth rate up in Germany, so I have to do my part.

Right. So on to it. I had a baby! Having a baby (the HAVING part as in "I have") is great (the having part as in "I am actively having a baby right now"... not so much. More on that another time, perhaps).

His name is Charlie and he is great. He is one of those babies where people ask "is he always this good?". He is really well behaved. We are thinking of renting him out to mothers who are trying to convince their 20- or 30- something kids to have babies. He is also GIANT. Like, off of the curve, bigger than a baby his age big. Not really overly chubby or beanpole tall, just bigger than he should be. He also has teeth, which while not unheard of for a baby his age, still plays into Charlie's scheme of "ok people I am going to act months older than I really am and fool you all into giving me that Ipad (more on that later, too).

But this post isn't about Charlie, really, it's about having a baby abroad. Namely my five tips for having and having a baby in Germany. Here goes.

1) Milk the system. Did you know that your health insurance will pay for your birth prep classes? Oh, and also your prenatal yoga. And many alternative therapies, if necessary. Feeling icky during your pregnancy? Tell your doctor, and odds are that he/she will extend your already awesomely long maternity leave. Don't forget to sign up for classes post pregnancy to re-tone your pelvic floor. Yup, there's that too.

2) Get some goodies from home. Chances are, you grew up with some specific baby items, or maybe you are reading a slew of pregnancy blogs from your home country. This will leave you wanting the baby items all your friends have or that are recommended by those blogs. Tap your sources! Sure, all a baby really needs is love, food and warmth, but a Travel Boppy Pillow or an Easy Stroll stroller extender can't hurt either...

3) Suck up to the Krippe (daycare). I know. This one is really annoying. But oh so necessary. If you harbor any pipe dreams about going back to work (which thankfully is not always as urgent in Germany, but often quite necessary after that year long Elterngeld dries up) put your name on every daycare list you can find but then choose your favorite one or two and go make friends with them. Seriously, make sure they know exactly who you are. Visit, call, explain your dire plight. It is the only way you will get a spot. If you have to, bake chocolate chip cookies. Everyone loves chocolate chip cookies. (someday, I will tell the tale of how we got our Krippen spot)

4) Let yourself just be those first 8 weeks. There is a beautiful concept in Germany called the Wochenbett, which can be loosely translated as the postpartum period. Basically, those first 8 weeks with your baby are sacred. You are recovering, your baby is recovering, you are all just getting to know each other, and blissfully in Germany, you are allowed to do nothing! In fact, you are required to. Working during this time is verboten. I highly encourage you to ask your husband to join you during those first two months and take his Elternzeit as well. You will not regret it. Sleepless nights and endless days transform from a nuisance to a time you can both enjoy. Just be happy you live in Germany and do it.  And don't forget to schedule a Midwife to come to your home to check on your and your baby! Best. Thing. Ever. (and covered by insurance, of course).

5) Dress/transport/feed/raise your baby how YOU want to. It can be hard enough to be bombarded with baby advice from friends and strangers alike. But now, you've got two cultures, often telling you two entirely different things! For me it was like having an angel and a devil sitting on my shoulders: dress your baby warmer/cooler, use a stroller/wear your baby, start solids early/wait until later. But you know what the great part is? With so many conflicting bits of advice, it is so clear that there are simply many varying paths to raising a baby, and it is up to you to choose yours. So ignore those dirty looks and raise your baby the way you and your family see fit.

What pieces of advice do you have for fellow expats having a baby in Germany?

And then we were three!

So here I am again! I have decided to resume this personal blog, because hey, we have a baby!

Here he is, in all his glory:

Charlie!

All in all, we are happy happy and enjoying life in Germany with a baby. Did I mention that life is good? More on that soon. Until then, my gigantic four month old says buh-bye with his... TEETH!